On Fear, Failure, Uncertainty, and Comfort Zones
Listen on Apple Podcasts / Listen on Spotify
Podcast Summary
I'm staring down one of the scariest moments of my life - taking the leap to GOING FULL TIME in my business. The excitement is REAL, but so is the fear. So, that's what we're going to talk about today - fear of failure, uncertainty, and getting out of our comfort zones.
For show notes, head to coachellyn.com/podcast, and, of course, follow me on Instagram OR check out my YouTube Channel for more!
Resources
Join the Burnout-Proof Business waitlist
Transcript
(00:08):
Hey there, achiever and welcome back to the Burnout Proof Podcast, where we're all about helping you build the mindsets, habits, and behaviors you need to burnout proof your life in business. My name is Ellen, and if you are a busy, overwhelmed Enneagram three achiever like I was, who is sick and tired of letting work run your life, you're in the right place here on burnout Proof. I'm committed to giving you simple no BS episodes that help you work less, live more, heal from your hustle, and take back your life from burnout. Let's do this.
Hello my friend, and welcome to episode number 1 0 2 of the Burnout Proof podcast today. Oof. Today we're gonna be talking about uncertainty, fear, comfort zones. Sounds fun, doesn't it? <Laugh> It is. It's gonna be, it's gonna be a very raw, real conversation today because I am staring down some big fears, some big uncertainties, some things that are pushing the comfort zone, and I'm sharing it because I feel like you might be in the same boat as I am. I'm sharing it because I feel like perhaps you need to hear this as well. I have run across so much content recently about comfort zones and challenging your comfort zones and what happens when we get too stuck in the comfortable. And it's really, really called my bluff in a lot of different ways and called me out in a lot of different ways for some things that I am stuck in and some things that I am being challenged by and some fears that I really need to face up to.
(02:02):
So what are those things? So instead of being ominous about this whole thing, what, what is it that I'm staring down and I'm staring down going full-time in my business? That's the big scary thing in my life right now. You know, do I take this thing that I have poured my heart and my soul and my energy and all of my spare time and all of my spare bandwidth into for the last five years? Do I take it full time? I, as I'm recording this, found out that I had the biggest month in my business I've ever had my first 10 K month income month, not revenue month. So I know 10 k revenue month's gonna be a another big milestone for me, but biggest month I've ever had in my business. And I, I cried, happy tears. You know, I've never felt such belief in myself and in my business as I do right now.
(02:55):
And I had a call with my coach, Katie Saltzman, who you should go follow her and check out her podcast that she's a badass and I love her. Had a call with her earlier this week and she asked me, she's like, what are you waiting for? You know, what, what are you waiting for? Do? She asked me, do you ever think it's not gonna be scary? She asked me, do you ever think you're not gonna feel uncomfortable? Do you ever think you're gonna feel a hundred percent ready? And those questions were some huge ahas for me. I think, you know, I think the fear of going full-time for me is less about income insecurity. I think it's easy to blame income insecurity. I think part of the fear is, and I this is a common thing for a lot of high achievers, it's a fear of failure. I think the fear is more a fear that when you remove all the excuses and all the other roadblocks, that I still won't be able to achieve the goals that I have, and I have big goals. I'm sure you do too. You know, it's, what if I remove all of the obstacles from my path and I still don't quite have the success I wanna have?
(04:20):
What if that's the fear? I listened to a podcast by Jenna Kutcher earlier this week, and she had this beautiful analogy where she said, are you the kind of person who is willing to jump and who will just know, you know, it's gonna work out, the net's gonna appear? Or are you the person that carefully and slowly knits the net underneath yourself until you are a hundred percent certain and you know it's gonna catch you? You know, you have one person who knows the net's gonna appear, and one person that has to be sure that the net's gonna be there to catch us. And I know at camp I'm in, I am the person who wants the certainty, and I don't feel like we can judge ourselves for that. And I don't judge myself for that. I value security and stability. But you know what?
(05:19):
More than that, I am not somebody who's super comfortable with uncertainty. I love Brene Brown, and she has an audio book where she literally says, I love certainty. I wanna snuggle up to certainty. And that is me to a t. And it very well might be you too. You know, if you like to snuggle up to certainty you love, love a good plan, love a good schedule. I'm not like overscheduled, I've gone on many a spontaneous vacation in my, my time, but there are some pivots and jumps in my life that are scarier to make, and they're usually the ones that have to do with money. And, and you know, perhaps that's the Enneagram three achiever in me who needs and wants people to feel like I'm a success. And let's be honest, so many success metrics are measured by, by wealth. And you know, how big of a house you have.
(06:17):
And those kind of, you know, are like the real world vanity metrics, not the social media vanity metrics, but the real world vanity metrics of how nice of a car do you drive? How big's your house? Where's your house located? What's your, you know, your annual income? And not even just society's expectations, you know, maybe it really does boil down to parent and parent validation. You know, I want my parents to know that I did well for myself, that they, that they taught me well to be successful. But you know, what, if I had to define, and I was asked recently to define what success looks like for me, you know, I'm talking about all of this. You know, what if I remove all of these obstacles and I'm still not successful? I had to define what success means to me recently. And what success means to me isn't an income goal, it's a feeling. And for me to feel successful, I need to feel free.
(07:24):
It's that freedom to make the decisions I wanna make, spend my time the way I wanna spend my time, do the things I wanna do. You know, for me, freedom is one of my values. And I actually want to read you this value statement. I write a little, my value statement, basically, it's like my own personal definition of what that value means to me. And I do this with every single one of my values, because I don't think it's about Webster Dictionary's definition of what that means. I think it's about yours. And my value statement for my freedom value is creating a life that gives me the flexibility to live according to my own choices. And honestly, that's success to me too. That is the ultimate goal that I'm aiming for. And when I think about it that way, it's funny because I've been so busy picturing, you know, the worst possible outcome to following this dream and getting out of this, you know, my comfort zone and, and making this choice and going for it, and taking the leap.
(08:40):
I've been so scared of all of these worst possible outcomes that I haven't stopped to consider. A, am I already meeting my definition for success? And B, what if it only gets better? What if instead of it getting worse and me thinking about and looking at the worst possible outcome, what if I started looking toward the best, the push toward wanting to take my business full time? You know, I recently, and I've talked a lot about this last while I burned out, I did too much. I hit a point, and this is the biggest reason why I dropped down to part-time at the start of this year, I hit a point where I knew I couldn't do both anymore. I couldn't do my day job and my business. It was getting too big. It was getting to be too much. And now the next iteration of that is that I'm realizing that all of the goals and ambitions and the things that I want from my business and all the places that I want to take things I can't get there if I still have this job. You know, my, my vision, my aspirations, my goals, I'm not able to, I don't have the bandwidth or the capacity to pour into them because I have this day job.
(10:01):
You know, I could have all of these dreams and aspirations and goals and this vision for, I wanna take my business. You know, if I'm thinking about the best possible outcomes I have all of these things that I wanna create and do, and I can't do them because of my day job. And that was a big aha for me of realizing, if I, if I'm going to do this, if I'm going to make this dream fully a reality, it's already reality. I'm already so, so, so proud and so fulfilled by everything that I've done. But if I'm gonna keep going and if I'm gonna keep pushing, and if I'm gonna keep leveling up, I have to free up some capacity to be able to do that, and that capacity is gonna come from me stepping down altogether for my day job. And that's scary. But I wanna go back to that Jenna Kutcher podcast I listened to earlier this week, because she shared three questions in that podcast that were huge for me in terms of making this mental and emotional shift. And those three questions were, what would I do if I were being more courageous?
(11:18):
How will inaction cost me one year from now if I do nothing? And where is my fear of failure causing me to overestimate the size of risk, underestimate myself and holding me back from taking risks that would serve me? These are three questions that she pulled from a Forbes article by a keynote speaker, Margie Worrell. And I hear those questions and I know my answers. You know, if I was being more courageous, I would quit tomorrow. You know, how will the inaction cost me a year from now if I do nothing? Honestly, it could cost me another year of massive growth and momentum in my business. It could cost me feeling this exact same way a year from now, which I do not want. It could cost me being able to start dating again, which is something that I really wanna do this year. It could cost me, you know, the bandwidth to do that. You know, my freaking soulmate could be right outside my apartment building door, and I wouldn't know it because, you know, I'm inside working in my day job.
(12:46):
You know, where is my fear of failure causing me to overestimate the size of the risk and underestimate to myself? You know, I, I remember hearing that question, and it wasn't even a question of where is it causing me to overestimate the size of the risk and underestimate myself? It was more of a, is it, is my fear of failure causing me to overestimate the size of the risk and underestimate myself? Hell yes. You know, in so many ways. And the more people I talk to about this, you know, this point in this bleep that I know I'm gonna make, and I'm gonna make it soon, but the more people I've talked to, I am more prepared than most of them were.
(13:31):
I am in a better position than so many single female entrepreneurs before me. You're gonna hear from Lindsay May next week, who had some, you know, clients, but really started her business unemployed. Like she'd left her job. It wasn't, she hadn't been fired. She left her job, she started her business without a backup plan and without a net to catch her. I'm already in such a good position. So it's not a ma matter of where is my fear of failure causing me to overestimate the size of the risk and underestimate myself. It's the fact that it is.
(14:14):
I don't wanna be that girl anymore who didn't take the risk, who didn't leap out of fear. I don't wanna be that girl anymore. So I guess this is me, even more so than I may already have done. I'm calling my shot, and I'm saying by the end of this year, and honestly, probably sooner, because Katie's making me pick a peace out date, I will not have a day job. I will not have any other work I will do, I'm doing, because I will have decided to have faith in myself, and I will have taken the risk and the leap of faith on me and on my business. And I guess that is the promise I'm making today and the mindset shift that I wanted to share. So thank you so much for listening. If you are in a similar place, can you please like DM me on Instagram?
(15:24):
I'm at Coach Ellen, E-L-L-Y-N, share where you're at. Let's, let's bond over this. Let's, let's hype each other up. Let's, let's push each other and motivate each other because I know the fear is real, because I'm feeling it. And you being here for me makes me wanna be there for you too. So if you're in this state as well, or this is reminding you of something, please reach out on Instagram. I'm at Coach Ellen, E-L-L-Y-N, and let's support each other because we've all gotta step out of our comfort zones. We've all got to realize that, you know, that uncertainty, stress is never gonna go away. That fear of failure is perhaps never gonna be there because we're fricking Enneagram three retrievers, but we can't let us let it hold us back anymore, and we're not going to,
(16:13):
Before
(16:13):
You go, I just wanted to thank you so much for spending some time with me today. My goal, and the whole reason I started this podcast is to put the things I'm learning and the ahas I'm having in the hands of the Enneagram three achievers like me who really need that, because I know I'm not the only one who is sick of the cookie cutter BS of sleep more and quit your job, right? That's why I would love to hear what you took from today's episode. So go ahead and hand it over to Instagram, shoot me a dm, take a screenshot of the episode and tag me at Coach Ellen. Again, that's E-L-L-Y-N. And if you haven't already, I would really appreciate if you would take a moment to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a rating and review. Last, but definitely not least, I know that we all know someone who is struggling with chronic stress and burnout. And if this podcast is helping you, it very well might help them too. So if you've got a friend or a loved one in mind, I, and I'm sure they would appreciate you sharing this podcast with them. Again, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much, my friend, and I'm so grateful you're part of the Burnout proof community. Until next time, my friend, bye.
Do you have anything to add?
Drop a comment below…
RELATED POSTS:
